Literary Laziness

They just don’t make authors like they used to. If you draw back to your days in school, you remember how thick the books we read were and how amazingly they left out no boring detail. I am afraid in an era of texts and blogs, the often important things get left out. This saddens me to no end! I think it is time to take a stand against some of these authors who write their straight to the point novels and books that are full of interest. So I have decided it is time to comment on a certain author that has a really good verbal thrashing due. I speak of JK Rowling, the author of the famous Harry Potter 7 pack. As I have read (or listened to) every book in the series, I find huge missing pieces that would more complete the Harry Potter experience and I think it is time I set it right. I am sure by now you all know what I am talking about…spells!!! There are so many spells in the magical kingdom that JK refused to input into her books, and I think with the help of so many of you, we can finally put an end to the myth of the missing book of spells. Here are a few that need to be brought to life: (Keep in mind the danger of these spells, if you have your wand, be sure not to have it in hand when speaking aloud these words…I am not responsible for magical mistakes made by the likes of people who think they truly understand what a wizard is. Just because you have a robe, hat and wand doesn’t make you a wizard! You must also have an owl, and be hopped up on some kind of drug unto which you believe that magic really does exist!)

Papirus Cutularias – The wicked paper cut, most likely would be among of the unmentionable curses
Hemroidia – Talk about a pain in the butt!
Mintia Brethicus – How many people should you have to talk to with bad breath? The answer is NONE!
Baith Washoi – that goes double for those who don’t wear deodorant!
Slicionly – Makes you slice every single golf shot you take – that curse is with me already and it an annoying one!
Hookati – If you make me slice, I give you the golf hook
PMS Reversio – Reverses the attitude effects of PMS. Now she will be extra nice.
Phonias Dropical – An annoying curse that drops every phone call you get after the first 5 words are spoken
Boobio Expandicus – Kevin sent that one to me…you figure it out!
Selfish Esteemian – Gives a person self esteem – I had to put this one out there for me, maybe it will work!!!!!
Pimpiolan – Puts a pimple on you’re the side of your target’s nose…where it meets the face…the painful one!!!!!

Since I am not the only one with such opinions…there has to be other spells out there. So help out a fellow Potter nerd and tell me the spells that you have encountered (also known as “created in your own sick little mind”) Post as many as you can come up with…I am interested in this wonderful topic!!!!!