Episode 1: Rise of the Miss

The Earth, a more or less peaceful planet has existed for many weeks now. Until recently, it has survived in harmony with others. Now, there is something that threatens the fabric of peace…the fabric of life! Last year, the dark side left our beloved nation (USA) and went to a far away to Europe in search of answers. She toured around looking, & taking pictures of places she just knew she would conquer...and then the “ray” of light struck her. It was time. It was time for her to find her another student, someone that she could use to help conquer the entire human race. She would return to the United States, and start her devious plans! So she did, arriving in the US where she thought it would be best to go to the south. Men who live there are much weaker willed there and a lot easier to conquer. She would need a male, someone that has had life beaten out of him, someone with no fight left in them. Her search would lead her to the Beaumont, Texas area.

In this area, the dark force knew that she needed help. She needed what we call “internet access” to find just the man to enslave. Remembering her friend Kevin worked at a mega company called Script Care, The empress stole the internet causing such pain and suffering that Kevin was forced to work instead of doing what he thinks he is paid for…probing the internet for new technology, Harry Potter updates and porn sites that wouldn’t tip off the management. The evil of the empress has struck pain in another individual and this makes her happy. The problem is Kevin’s computer held 2 important shreds of information…the name of the perfect beaten man and the whereabouts of her mortal enemies…the Fannati. Why did she hate them? “They are Worthless” she thought, “All they do is plan for their next draft and brag on some sort of pick ups…what about life, politics, religion…I must kill them all!” The Fannati are an advanced race of idiots. Their life goals rotate around their next draft pick, or some late round sleeper. They lust over ESPN even watching it in the wee hours in the morning during reruns of American Gladiators. She would need help. Sure they are worthless, but their powers are great.

Kevin arrives home a little late, beaten and tired from actually having to work for a day to find his brother on the couch eating French fries and watching the fantasy hour on ESPN. Looking up to see Kevin, Brad Frygone, Fannati master, asks what is troubling him. Abby the Wookie jolts up to meet Kevin while he describes the internet outage. All of a sudden Frygone hears a voice in his head as he senses a disturbance. “They are Miss Lords and there are always two…never more, never less. A “teacher” and a “pupil”!” Frygone gives a puzzled look and says to Kevin “there is a disturbance in the draft, I must go!” Kevin looks puzzled and stares at Brad with a perplexed look as he runs out the door. Then he glances at the TV to see Star Wars on…”Abby why do you always step on the remote?”

Later that evening Amber, A kind lovely and funny young woman (one that everyone loves), arrives at Kevin’s house to see Clifton, Kevin and Nick watching the Astros game. They all have decided to go get some food, but since they want different things, Kevin and Nick go to the store while Amber and Clifton go to taco bell. After being gone for a few minutes, Amber and Clifton arrive home to see Brad, Paul Odor bad Kenobi, Jerrad Phonetalker, and Vic Vic Binks at the house. Amber and Clifton shares their hellos with the group and they watch the game to eat. Clifton announces to the guys that he has a new job starting on Monday. He will be working for Abercrombie and Fitch which he is very excited about. Frygone grabs Odor bad Kenobi and says take Phonetalker, Vic Vic, and Amber from the house for a bit…he needs to talk to Clifton.

After leaving the house, Clifton sneers at Brad and ask him what is wrong? Brad, taking his pan of French fried grease into his hand and stares at Clifton “Who are you?” Brad asks. “I am Darth English of the Dark Empress Ferrell.” Brad’s look of surprise sends a bigger smile to the face of Darth English. “Oh no, I have just sent Vic Vic Binks, Phonetalker and Odor Bad to their death!” he thinks to himself. One of them has to die!